Hello, my friend
This space has always been a reflection of my heart—a place where I share the real and raw parts of my journey in business, motherhood, and healing.
If we’re counting, my “be right back” turned into… well, almost a year and a half. Since August 2024 it’s been Washington hikes, six-week stints up and down California, a spontaneous hop to Brazil (then Buenos Aires, because why not), and—plot twist—coming “home” to Colorado for what we thought was a minute that became… landing. Permanently.
Somewhere in all those flights and feelings I found the part I didn’t want to say out loud: the sabbatical last year didn’t fix me. I came back renewed—and then it felt like someone threw me into the deep end and said, “Swim like you used to.”
I called it momentum. My nervous system called it stress.
This is the honest beginning.
The Travel Montage & the Colorado Pivot
Washington was a dream—trail dust, lake dips, and the kind of summer that gets lodged lovingly in your bones. Then California: Sebastopol’s stillness, Ojai’s sun-drunk afternoons, San Clemente’s salt-tangled hair and a kid who suddenly skated everywhere.
In February 2025 we jumped continents—Rio, Paraty, São Paulo, Florianópolis—and then, in classic us fashion, added Buenos Aires just because it felt right.
We flew to Colorado to reset. Family, familiarity, the easy kind of home. Two months, tops. And then the kids started asking for more—friends, a rhythm, a place to put their backpacks.
We toured a Waldorf charter school “just to see.” Lottery miracles, ×3. One got in. Then two. Then all three. Doors don’t always fling open like that. When they do, I try to listen.
We found a short-term rental and the kids started in August. Colorado, for now, is home.
Values vs. Ideals (Hi Perfectionism, I See You)
I talk about values a lot, but here’s the uncomfortable truth: sometimes what we say are our values are actually our ideals.
Our calendars, our choices, the way we spend our attention—those tell the truth.
For much of 2023, my ideal was excellence, but my value—if I let my behavior speak—was perfectionism. Bigger team, better funnels, more polished everything. It cost me my health, my creativity, my presence.
The sabbatical in 2024 gave me breath and clarity, but the real work was (and is) aligning what I value with how I actually live.
These days my real values look like laughter at the dinner table, long walks, reading instead of scrolling, and protecting the growing emotional needs of three very wonderful, very human kids.
That’s meant choosing life over career in places where both couldn’t fit in the same hour. Not easy. But true.
Why I Left Social Media
I didn’t leave because I’m morally superior or immune to the scroll; I left because my brain was patterned for dopamine and performance, and I was missing my actual life.
Even with solid boundaries, I could feel it: the constant mental “Should I share this?” tug that yanked me out of the moment.
As my oldest got curious about social, I did the research to articulate why not yet—and realized I needed to apply the same care to myself.
I want presence more than I want proof.
I want a life that’s lived, not just documented.
The 7 Quiet Red Flags of High-Functioning Burnout
These look a lot like competence—until they don’t. If you recognize yourself, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means your body is asking for something different.
- Never feeling “done,” even on rest days
- Doing all the “right” things and still feeling foggy
- Mistaking external order for inner peace — color-coded chaos is still chaos
- Confusing peace with laziness — if calm feels itchy, wait for tomorrow’s episode
- Being the emotional anchor for everyone—and refusing to be held
- The addiction to urgency — if it’s not on fire, do you notice it?
- The myth that there’s “no room to stop” — busyness as armor, schedule as identity
If even one of these hits your ribs, you’re not alone. The pattern makes sense when a nervous system has been rewarded for output.
Unwinding it requires safety, not scolding.
Choosing Life (Again and Again)
I’ve had to choose life repeatedly this year: landing in Colorado, saying yes to a school that mirrors our values, and leaving a platform that pulled me out of presence.
The older my kids get, the fewer hands-on tasks they need—and the more they need my emotional availability. Nothing in my business is worth trading that away.
This doesn’t mean ambition disappears; it means ambition gets regulated. It becomes rooted. It moves from urgency to intention.
What’s Next (3-Episode Week)
This is Part 1 of a three-episode week to ease us back in with honesty and tools that work:
- Episode 149: the travel + Colorado pivot, values vs. ideals, and the seven quiet red flags
- Episode 150: Cortisol addiction and why “calm” felt itchy
- Episode 151: The nervous-system shift that changed everything
I’m glad you’re here. Thank you for letting me start exactly where I am.
Until next time, take care of yourself, regulate often, and live shamelessly ambitious.
xx, Ash
✉️ JOIN THE EMAIL LIST HERE
Get the emails that feel like love notes… these are the kind of letters I’d actually want to open: part therapy, part voice note, part “holy shit, I needed that.” Honest stories about burnout, healing, motherhood, ambition, and building a life you actually want to be here for — plus exclusive discounts & sneak peeks on resources I’d recommend to make that a reality.
🌊BECOME A REGULATED WOMAN
Become the woman who feels steady in the waves. The Regulated Woman is where high-achieving women learn to soften their nervous systems, release survival mode, and build lives that actually feel good to live.
