Hello, my love

Today’s episode is a permission slip—a real one. Because the women I’ve been coaching lately? They’re extraordinary. Brilliant. Capable. And wildly hard on themselves.

There’s a theme running through so many of our conversations:

“I’m not moving fast enough.”
“I thought I’d be further along by now.”
“If I don’t do everything perfectly, it will all fall apart.”

Sound familiar?

We’re talking about expectations today—specifically, the way our culture has conditioned us to expect instant everything, and how that conditioning quietly erodes our capacity for real, sustainable success.

Let’s start with the uncomfortable truth:

Your brain has been rewired for speed.

Reading The Anxious Generation and another book on home + belonging woke me up to something I already felt in my body but hadn’t fully named:

We crave the quick hit.
The instant proof.
The dopamine spike.

From social media to “before-and-after culture” to the endless highlight reels—we’re witnessing results without witnessing the process. And that is rewiring us.

We see:

• the six-pack abs
  
• the overnight “success story”
  
• the renovated home
  
• the massive launch
  
• the glow-up
  

But we don’t see:

• the six months of unglamorous consistency
  
• the years of patience
  
• the tears, detours, and slow traction
  
• the times nothing was working yet
  

And then we wonder why we feel behind.
We wonder why we lack patience.
We wonder why we quit before our work has time to bloom.

Most of what’s worth building takes time.

I’ll say it again because your nervous system needs it:

Most of what’s worth building takes time.

And not cute, Instagrammable time.
I’m talking about slow, repetitive, unsexy time.
The kind of time where you show up with zero proof that anything is working.
The kind of time where the results are internal long before they’re external.

Every entrepreneur I’ve ever supported has had moments of panic during the “messy middle”—the stretch between desire and payoff, where it’s easier to question everything than it is to stay steady.

Not because they aren’t capable.
But because they’ve never been conditioned for patience.

Patience isn’t passive—it’s active faith.

Patience is not sitting around waiting for something magical to fall into your lap.

Patience is:

• steady action
  
• nervous-system-led consistency
  
• choosing depth over dopamine
  
• holding the belief that your work matters
  
• trusting results you can’t see yet
  

It’s saying:
“I’m going to keep showing up until this works. Period.”

And here’s the part no one talks about…

Most of us don’t lack strategy—we lack stamina.

We jump from idea to idea
because we’re addicted to the quick hit.

We pivot too soon
because slow progress feels like failure.

We overthink, overconsume, and overreact
because our nervous system equates slowness with danger.

We start over
because staying the course feels intolerable.

But long-term success requires a regulated body—a body that can hold uncertainty without spiraling.

When you regulate, you actually move faster.

When your nervous system isn’t fried by urgency, comparison, or doubt, you make clearer decisions.
Your efforts compound.
Your creativity opens.
Your work deepens.

Regulated consistency > frantic hustle.
Every time.

And you might even be surprised by how quickly things move when speed is no longer your goal.

A client moment I’ll never forget

Recently, a client told me:

“This feels like getting a peek into the next chapter of my success. Not because anything massive changed—but because I’m finally sticking with something long enough to feel momentum.”

Yes.
That’s it.
That’s the shift.

Not harder.
Not faster.
Just steadier.

Let go of comparison—come home to your pace.

We consume so much of other people’s lives that we forget what we truly want.

Even in my personal life—while looking for our next home in Colorado—it hit me how easily I get pulled off course by other people’s aesthetics, preferences, and highlight reels.

But the homes that feel like “us”?
They’re the cozy, lived-in, nostalgic ones.
The ones that feel like Friends or Gilmore Girls.
Not the curated, modern, massive ones we’re conditioned to want.

Business works the same way.
Your path is allowed to look simple.
Slow.
Steady.
Yours.

A permission slip for your pace

Let me leave you with this:

✨ Stop chasing instant results.
✨ Stop assuming “slow” means “not working.”
✨ Stop abandoning your process right before it pays off.
✨ Stop letting other people’s speed define your worth.

Let this be your reminder to take the long way.
To build something that lasts.
To redefine success by how alive, grounded, and peaceful you feel—not how fast you get there.

Success is never the destination.
It’s who you become on the way.

xx, Ash

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