Continuing the Energy Is Everything Series
This is the second conversation in a six-part series devoted to one foundational truth: your energy dictates your capacity to live, lead, create, and feel like yourself again.
In episode 166, we explored reverse engineering life from feeling instead of force.
In episode 167, we go deeper—into visibility, identity, and the subtle ways women disappear to stay safe.
This episode is for the woman who knows she’s holding back.
Not because she lacks clarity—but because being fully seen feels unsafe in her body.
Meet Renee Bowen
Renee is a photographer, trauma-informed coach, and somatic practitioner with over two decades of experience working with women and identity. Her work blends psychology, nervous system regulation, and deep embodiment—because surface-level change has never been her thing.
Her story is layered: growing up in the Deep South, questioning authority early, navigating anxiety long before it was named, motherhood that cracked her open, and a lifelong relationship with visibility that began behind the camera.
Photography, for Renee, wasn’t just art.
It was survival.
It was regulation.
It was a way to exist without being exposed—until it wasn’t anymore.
The visibility wound no one names
One of the central themes of this episode is what Ash calls the visibility wound—the energetic cost of being unseen, muted, or masked for safety, belonging, or approval.
Renee speaks candidly about how identity gets shaped by:
- family systems
- religious conditioning
- gender expectations
- the male gaze
- generational martyrdom
- and unspoken rules about what women are “allowed” to want
For many women, not being seen feels safer than being judged.
But safety comes at a cost.
And that cost is energy.
When motherhood becomes erasure
This conversation goes where many won’t.
Renee and Ash talk about motherhood not as a role—but as a threshold that exposes identity fractures.
When women are taught to disappear for their families, the nervous system learns that visibility equals danger. Over time, that belief shows up as exhaustion, resentment, anxiety, and self-abandonment.
This episode gently but clearly names the truth:
Living for everyone else is not the same as loving them.
And children feel the cost of that confusion—often carrying guilt they were never meant to hold.
Identity, masks, and the cost of performance
Renee shares how much of her early identity was shaped around being palatable, attractive, agreeable, or impressive—and how long it took to realize that none of it was actually her.
Visibility doesn’t always mean being loud.
Sometimes it means being honest.
Honest about:
- what you enjoy
- what drains you
- what no longer fits
- what you’re done pretending to be okay with
Healing the visibility wound isn’t about forcing yourself into the spotlight.
It’s about feeling safe enough to exist without a mask.
Neutrality: the missing skill
One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is the discussion on neutrality—the ability to observe without judgment, charge, or collapse.
Renee explains how neutrality:
- shifts you from reactive to responsive
- creates nervous system safety
- allows identity change without force
- makes expansion sustainable
Instead of asking “Why am I like this?”
Neutrality asks, “Is this true right now?”
And that shift alone can return enormous amounts of energy.
Tools that don’t require fixing yourself
This episode isn’t about adding more practices to your plate.
It’s about removing what keeps you dysregulated.
Renee and Ash talk about:
- reducing sensory overload
- limiting social media input
- walking without distraction
- writing by hand
- visualizing situations without emotional charge
- and trusting the body’s intelligence
Presence isn’t something you buy.
It’s something you remember.
Why hiding costs more than being seen
A recurring truth throughout this episode:
When you live out of alignment, your body pays the bill.
Visibility doesn’t drain energy—performing does.
Honesty doesn’t exhaust you—suppression does.
Being yourself isn’t dangerous—abandoning yourself is.
Healing the visibility wound isn’t about exposure.
It’s about self-trust.
The invitation
This episode is a reminder that:
- you don’t need permission to be seen
- you don’t need to earn rest through suffering
- you don’t need to disappear to be loved
Your energy belongs to you.
And reclaiming it starts with telling the truth—to yourself first.
Where to find Renee Bowen
- Website
- Instagram: @reneebowen
- Podcast: Tried & True (with a Dash of Woo)
(Links available in the show notes)
xx, Ash
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