Ash McDonald (00:02):

Oh, welcome. Welcome back to the podcast. I am so excited because today I have an amazing friend, an amazing colleague a business partner in sense, because she actually helped build out my website, but also a past client. Who’s been through my program. So you and I have been through a lot together, and I am so thrilled to have you on this podcast and be able hear more about you and also get to experience you in your truth as everybody who listens knows this podcast is all about reducing shame and talking about the hard stuff. So Rochelle I’m so, so endlessly grateful that you’re here. And I want you to take a moment to introduce you to all these amazing women who listen, who are you? Where are you and who are you VIPs. And if you have not heard this before, that means you’re very important people.

Rachelle Demoskoff (00:47):

Hello? Yay. I am so excited to be here, Ash. I’m so excited for this whole podcast that you’ve been launching. And just listening to the episodes like as a past client and a friend, like they just all resonate it with me so much. Like every time I’m listening to one, so I know like, this is you, this is like the direction and something amazing that you’re putting on the world. So I’m so excited to be here as one of your guests. So my name is Rochelle. I own 86 in trend, which is a web design agency. We do websites and branding for online providers. We have, we try, we take the like hard part and the tech and the scariness out of having a website. And we really want to build your website to work for you to make your life easier.

Rachelle Demoskoff (01:36):

So we have two ways you can work with us either like a done for you way where we do everything for you or a done with you way, which a course based program. So, yeah, we, we, I have that I’m originally from Canada. I’m living in Portland, Oregon right now with my husband and two kids. I have a four year old son and a two year old daughter and then a little baby on the way at the end of January. So number three. And yeah, we live in Portland. We, we are originally from Canada, like I said, and we moved to Pittsburgh actually about almost five years ago now for my husband’s job. And and then moved from Pittsburgh to Portland about two years ago. And yeah, so we’ve kind of been moving with jobs and stuff and my VIPs are definitely my husband and my kids.

Rachelle Demoskoff (02:36):

And I would also put as I’ve been, I’ve come a long way, which I know we’ll get into, but as in engram three, and if any of you guys do like human design as a, I’m a manifesting generator, which I’m just starting to learn more about, which is super interesting. But my whole life until the last couple years has really been kind of like influenced, I guess by a, a like a, not a negative engram three, but like the, not so great parts of an engram three. And it’s gotten me to really cool places, but yeah, it was definitely like the burnout. What parts like what parts did, what did it get to yeah. What parts that Igram three felt really hard for you, just for people who maybe don’t know exactly what Igram three is or what that means.

Rachelle Demoskoff (03:32):

Yeah. Yeah. So engram three, like just really simply that the way I see it is kind of that overachiever, the person who really wants to, you know, motivated by success like that go, go, go. Somebody who really is motivated by people saying like good job and like that type of stuff. So I worked corporate when we were up in Canada and I always thought I was going to just climb that corporate ladder and like be super successful, have the corner office, like be making great money, like just have that corporate life. And I was completely set up and moving in that direction to do that. I worked for a really great company, did really cool things and was so motivated by all that external, like what my job title was, what my office looked like. And other people fed into that too.

Rachelle Demoskoff (04:28):

Right? Like I was rewarded by like people being like, oh, you have such a cool job. Like you, wow. You make such good money, like all these things. But it, like, I was so burn out and I didn’t even really realize it until we actually until my husband decided, or we decided together, but to take the job offer in Pittsburgh. So we had to move to a different country and I actually had to leave my job. So I had to quit, which felt was really a weird experience. Like I had to, everything I had been working for. And truly what my identity was wrapped up in was my work. I had to leave and just walk away from it. And when I got to Pittsburgh, I remember feeling one of the first questions. Almost everybody asks you when they first meet you is like, hi, what’s your name?

Rachelle Demoskoff (05:23):

And oh, what do you do? And like, that happened so much in Pittsburgh. And I was so insecure because I was like, well, I don’t work right now. Like I don’t have these titles and this, you know, these, this job to like, say to you, and then you say like, oh, that’s amazing. You know, I, I didn’t have that. So I found myself actually, <laugh> like telling the story of what I used to do and like trying to justify like why I was where I was at. And it was just a huge wake up call to me that I’m like, my identity is tied up in this job that like, doesn’t even matter. Like, yes, I liked it, but I wasn’t passionate about it. It wasn’t lighting me up. I wasn’t being able to be creative. I didn’t have a good work life balance, like, like barely any pros. And yeah, that was a huge wake up call for me.

Ash McDonald (06:16):

Yeah, absolutely. So what brought you in, or got you into doing what you do now

Rachelle Demoskoff (06:20):

Then? So I had always dabbled in design and like websites. My mom is actually an interior designer, so I’ve always been kind of influenced in that world as a kid growing up. And I truly feel like your website is like your home design on online. Yeah. So when I got to Pittsburgh, I re so my husband and I had decided that we wanted kids. We were recently married and moving from some of you will know this moving from Canada to the us, Canada has a really good maternity policy and system. Oh, yes. You get like a year off and they actually just changed it to 18 months that you had the option to take as well. So anyways, coming down to the states, I was just, I was like, I know I don’t wanna get into something where I, you know, only have six weeks or eight weeks or whatever it is home with my baby.

Rachelle Demoskoff (07:16):

And then I am forced back to, I just didn’t want that. I wanted more freedom. I wanted more creativity. I wanted to be able to create like live the life that really lit me up. And like, thinking about what I had done corporately previously and seeing where I was like, I was successful, but I wasn’t lit up and energized. Didn’t like, that’s not what I wanted for my life. So I was like, I should, you know, go with this website thing and just start my own business. And so I yeah, really knew nothing about starting an online business and just dove in. I really knew nobody else who was like really doing it either. So just trying to find some resources and like back then, that was in 2016. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> I mean, there wasn’t as much as there is now with like courses and, you know, mentors and all this stuff. So really trying to just figure that out on my own. But yeah, that’s what kind of drove me into it was wanting to have that freedom and that creativity and just control in my life to create the life that I wanted. And that’s like, really what I get so lit up for now, working with clients is helping them in their dreams to create that life that they want, that empowers them. That gives them that freedom. Yeah, totally.

Ash McDonald (08:39):

I mean, if you want to see an incredible website, go check out mine. Michelle did it. It’s so amazing. We just got to make it go live, which was so fun. And it is such a dream. It is totally, I love how you said, like the front door of the house, if you will, of your business, which is so good. So Michelle, you mentioned in there that work life balance, wasn’t going so hot for you in a full-time job. I would love to hear how it’s gone for you as a entrepreneur.

Rachelle Demoskoff (09:05):

Yeah, well, it didn’t just change <laugh> those patterns continued on and I had a horrible work life balance still, like as an entrepreneur, I was so used to going into an office and working at a desk for however many hours. And that’s what I felt like I had to do as an entrepreneur. If like, I, if I, like, I would never take a Tuesday morning off, like I just like that didn’t that felt so weird to me. Yeah. So yeah, I had a really poor work life balance. And that lasted with me for a long time. Like probably until, oh gosh. Even having kids like with my, my son who is now four when I had him, I was still, I was trying to do all the things still. Like I didn’t have, I didn’t have team support at, at the time for my business.

Rachelle Demoskoff (09:57):

Mm-Hmm <affirmative> we didn’t have like a nanny or anything like that. I really wanted to be home with my son and I thought I could do it all. And my business really lit me up. Like, I didn’t wanna stop because that was like my creative outlet. And I loved having like those moments where I could come to the computer and like have my own thing. Yeah. So I loved working in my business and then it was trying to just balance everything and, but also do it all. Like I wasn’t asking for help. I didn’t even know that I, which sounds so silly, but I didn’t even really know that I could be, or be asking for help. Like, it felt like you, I just from past experiences and maybe it’s the engram three piece, but just feeling like, Hey, I can do this. I can do it all. And like, it looks like everybody else is doing it all. You know, like when you’re looking on Instagram and things like that, like, it seems like everybody else has got it together. I can do this too. Yeah. Yeah. I had really poor work life balance. Yeah. And it was just like, yeah. Lots of burnout.

Ash McDonald (11:02):

Yeah. You’re not alone in that. I think a, I meet with a lot of people, clients, colleagues, friends who believe that they have to take it all on. Right. you know, this, you were in my program, the ambitiously align arena. One of the things we talk about is delegation in. So any clients who’s been through that program were like, Uhuh, <laugh> like, no, no, that just, no, that does not feel good for me right now or not even that it doesn’t feel good. It just doesn’t feel like an option. Right? Like I’m supposed to do this all. I’m supposed to keep the home and do the dishes and the laundry and cook the meals and keep everybody healthy and raise the children and build the business. And I know I’ve dealt with that to you. It’s, you know, we know this about each other, but I’m an Ingram three manifesting generator as well. And so a hundred percent I’ve thought for years that I had to take it on myself. So how did that show up for you? I know that when you joined the arena, gosh, what was that? September of 20, 20, you joined my program, the arena. And let’s talk about that. Why did you join that? What did you come to that program really meeting? Where

Rachelle Demoskoff (12:01):

Were you at in? I was so drawn to you as I’m sure a lot of the, your listeners right now are drawn to like your online presence and like what you’re sharing on Instagram and just the whole concept of cycle sinking was something I had, I had never even heard of. And like, I am also somebody who’s very like health conscious and like you know, trying to get rid of toxins and just bad products and all of that. Like, I’ve gone down those rabbit holes and I’m very quite the researcher in that. So, but the cycle sinking piece and like learning how your hormones and like what you’re doing to your body and how your body needs to like ebb and flow and, and be at certain stages of your cycle. I had never heard of, which is so like it’s so I know we talk about this, but it’s crazy that people don’t know this stuff, like, and we’re never taught it.

Rachelle Demoskoff (12:57):

It’s not our fault, but it’s just like, it’s, it’s so foundational to like who we are and how we show up. And so I was still like at burnout, like I didn’t have a team really, that was supporting my business. I was running pretty much every thing we did have some childcare support at the time. And I had had my second daughter too. So I had, we had two actually that was during COVID. So we didn’t have the support. Yeah. It was a little bit, let’s say I don’t remember that. Yeah. It was actually a crazy year. So it was trying to run the business. It was COVID, the kids were home. We did have a nanny coming sometimes, but like, even then she was in the home with the kids. Like everybody, my husband was working from home. It was just, it was a lot as it was for everybody.

Rachelle Demoskoff (13:46):

But so yeah, it was just like, it was a burnout phase. And just hearing what you were talking about with cycle thinking, I was like, I, I need to learn this. And it’s truly like, I can’t believe I’ve only known this stuff for like a year, a year, a year and a bit now. Cause I’m like, I feel like it’s, I’ve known it forever because it’s, it’s so foundational to what I do now. And just how I treat my body. And I feel like that actually was probably the first time that I was able to really start to find a bit of work life balance. And I think it was learning like at different stages of your cycle. Like being able to like your body needs to rest. Your body wants to be like a little bit more inward, like learning that stuff instead of pushing against it as in any Agram three and being like, I need to show up, I, I need to get all this stuff done this week. Like always, always, always being able to like accept those ebbs and flows really changed like everything for me. Yeah. Yeah.

Ash McDonald (14:50):

Absolutely. I mean, I, I felt that myself when I first was introduced to it and I see it over and over and over again, I mean, you mentioned this foundational piece, but for women, it’s like, we can’t survive without knowing this about ourselves, because then we live in a perpetual state of exhaustion. Yeah. A perpetual state of fatigue of not knowing what’s wrong with us. Quote unquote. Right. Like even though there is absolutely nothing wrong with us at all. And so I’m so grateful that you found that and we’re able to integrate it. So I’d love to hear from you because we have so many listeners that are moms, they’re multi passionate, they have beautiful businesses and beautiful children. And that can feel, we talked about this right before we hit record. Right. That can feel like so much, like your heart

Rachelle Demoskoff (15:32):

Is just pulled in so many directions and some people kind of get this. Like, are you allowed to say that you have a love for your business as well? You know, cuz some people talk about right. I’m having a third kid. Well, I have enough room for love for three. I’m having a second kid. Well, I have enough room for love for two. I remember feeling that when I had my second, right. Obviously at the third you’re like, I know I can clearly love everybody, you know, but we also have a love for our business and that’s okay. And I’d love to hear just what you’d have to say to women in your shoes here, you are embarking on becoming a mom of three, running an incredibly successful business and a successful team. Talk to us. What has gotten you to where you are and what would you say to the mom who’s feeling like she’s carry at all and not feeling well about it?

Rachelle Demoskoff (16:14):

Yeah. I would say the biggest thing for me that I’ve really had to lean into. And I’ve just like with, I truly think it was the cycles thinking and learning about that, that kind of kicked it all off, but learning to take those periods of rest and not even rest, but just like the ebbs and flows of like, it’s not always go, go, go. And like there’s seasons in your life where, and maybe that season is two weeks or maybe it’s a month and a half or it’s six months. But like, there’s going to be seasons where you need to pull back a little bit and like, and that’s okay. And like, then you’re gonna have, by doing that, you’re going to have so much more energy and inspiration and creativity or whatever it is that you need for that next period of time that’s coming up when you really need it.

Rachelle Demoskoff (17:03):

And like, so for me I have support, I have an amazing team on my, with my business right now and I have so much support. But it’s still like, there’s still the ebbs and flows of like, okay, now I’m having a third baby. And I’m like, I really consciously want to take like create space when I have my third baby to have time with her and you know, have like the three months off where I’m just like able to focus on her and and then slowly ease back into my business. And I know my team will be there to support that, but that’s, it’s also, I know my team can’t fully run and do all the things from like a strategic point of view that I would wanna do with my business. So knowing that, okay, this next six months might be like a little bit of a slower period or a quieter period in the business and like being okay with that.

Rachelle Demoskoff (18:01):

Like yeah. One thing. Well we Ash and I run a mastermind together and our, our grace, our coach and our mastermind always would say like we’re building these businesses for the long term. And that always really stuck with me because it’s so easy to see on Instagram, like all these quick successes that people are having. And you’re like, wow, like how are they doing this? Like, that’s crazy. But really like you’re building it for the long term. Like it’s something that you’re like, you’re so passionate and you’re inspired by. And like you are helping so many people with whatever it is you do. And like creating that foundation for the long term, whether that’s like the support in your business or even those ebbs and flows of knowing that like this is for the long term, like if I have six months of stepping back a little bit, because there’s this other thing going on in my life or something like you have that freedom to do that. And it’s yeah. It’s okay. Like that’s been a big, a big thing for me to, to lean into. Yeah,

Ash McDonald (19:06):

For sure. I think it’s, it’s that mental piece of things more than anything, right. It’s not simply just, you know, do you have the team and have you delegated and have you, you know, ask for the help. It’s also, have you taken control of what you believe and how you operate in this world to recognize that what season you’re in is not meant to be the season anybody else is in. Yeah. And I think it’s the most important thing to digest as a mom is like, we, I guess, keeping those blinders on right. To what other people are doing or how it looks in other people’s businesses and recognizing that we’re not just the CEO of our businesses, we’re the CEO of our families. Right. And that means running both in, in that sense, through that lens. And I love, love, love that grace said us that of, you know, thinking of it as the long haul, right?

Ash McDonald (19:54):

You’re not gonna miss out. You’re not gonna fall behind. You’re not gonna miss an opportunity. I tell all of my clients, if it was meant for you, it will happen for you. There is nobody who can take it away. There is nothing that you can change. And the fact of the matter is I believe that every goal, every success that’s meant to be for us has a time when it’s to be as well. So there’s no amount of extra pressure or extra fight or extra hustle. That’s gonna get you there sooner than you were ever meant to get there in the first place. And the greatest way that you can digest that and live in that is to trust, right? To trust, to honor yourself, to honor your energy, to honor those moments that matter most with the people that matter most because your success is destined for you. Right? Yeah. I love that digest as a Ingram three though, <laugh>,

Rachelle Demoskoff (20:38):

It is very hard to digest, but it’s also like, it’s like what you say, like it’s like your business and your family life and your wellbeing, like what you do for yourself. Like it’s all weaved together. So it’s not like these separate buckets, like, and there’s ebbs and flows to them. So like, and sometimes it’s, it’s, I, I get caught up for sure in the Instagram comparison thing, which I’m really trying to be better at and I’ve come a lot way with it, but it’s just it’s so it’s so easy to get caught up in being like, this person has all this and how are they doing this so easily? And they’re making this much in, you know, in one month and how is this happening? But like when you really peel back the curtains everybody’s in the same spot, like in some form of, or another of like, you know, needing more support feeling, maybe like feeling that burnout like, and the more we have these conversations and like talk about it openly where you’re like, oh my gosh, like, yes, I relate to that so much. Like, and it doesn’t like, like it for me when I hear that, I’m like, it motivates me so much more. Cause I’m like, yes, like I’m not failing at this. Like I am like doing this. Right. And like, we are all in this together. And like, I, you know, it motivates me to continue with my business cause I love it. But just knowing that like everybody else is feeling like that same way too. So

Ash McDonald (22:02):

Yeah. Well, and it’s important to know that, you know, I always talk to my clients about essentially a picture that you’re a waitress and you’ve got this tray, right. And you’re walking around and on this tray is pieces of your business and pieces of motherhood and pieces of being a wife or a partner and running a home and all the things that you manage. And if there’s too much up there or if something is wobbly, I E maybe you’re not giving enough love and attention to your marriage. So it’s already kind of teetering, right? You can’t care any of it. Right. So it’s not just a matter of, I’m just gonna ignore the fact that things are really hard in my marriage or things are really hard in my home or things are really hard in motherhood. And just I’m if I hit this goal, right?

Ash McDonald (22:40):

It’s that concept of the, the B do have, if anybody’s ever heard of that. But the, the belief system is once I have maybe that amount of money or that rank in my business or whatever that looks like once I have that, then I can do what I’m meant to do and be who I need to be. But the truth is it’s completely flip flopped. We have to first be who we’re supposed to be step into the highest level of ourselves in order to have the capacity to not just hold all the things, but to hold them with power, with sanctity and truth and knowing what we’re doing right. Once we can be that person, we can do what we’re supposed to do and have the things we were made to have. Right. And unfortunately, it’s really easy in that space as a mom of just like, ah, if I could just have a minute, you know, I could get to this place, I could make more money.

Ash McDonald (23:25):

I could hire more help. I could do all these things and yeah, delegation’s important, but you have to make sure everything’s stable. I was telling Rochelle before we started this call, my husband and I just actually hired a parenting coach. And I have invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in business coaching. But the truth is where do I need the most support in parenting with my husband and doing it as a, like a solid front together like partnership, right? And so it’s so important. I want every woman who’s listening to this to know that we all have these struggles and we all have these ebbs and flows. And the most important thing that you can do for yourself is truly get to a place of, I wanna say like self permission and, and self love and, and understanding that every aspect of what you carry impacts the other. So there’s nothing to be ignored and there will be seasons where the thing that needs the most focus is not your business. Mm-Hmm <affirmative>

Ash McDonald (24:18):

Yeah. Such a good conversation to have such a good conversation to have Michelle. I’m so grateful to have you here, because I think it’s so important for women to hear the power of something as simple as cycle syncing or the power of something as simple as delegating and, and hiring people on understanding too, that they’re not alone, they’re not alone. And feeling that like, ah, can I do this? You know, and especially for those high achieving women who are listening, like you are not alone and, and that your identity is caught up in what you’re successful in, but you can be successful in so much more than your business.

Rachelle Demoskoff (24:51):

Totally. And I would also say like, just from what you were saying there it’s like, it’s finding that it’s giving yourself the permission, but also finding that support with like really good people. Like if there’s people in your life who are draining you, if it’s on Instagram or it’s in real life, like yes, you know, remove those people. Like you don’t need that. Find those, like people who are willing to have the open, honest conversations that are like, this is how things are going. Like, it’s not like, you know, the fluff where you’re, you’re always feeling that comparison. Like, and that’s gonna, like, we need, we need to, which these conversations are starting this movement. Like, it’s like, we need to be open and honest with each other. We need to like give each other that support because everybody feels like even with like the parenting and like the hiring, a coach like that, like as a parent, you, you all of a sudden get this baby. And like, yes, you can do the reading and like, try to figure out the best way to parent. And, but it’s, it’s so it isolating, like you can feel like you have to figure it out on your own. So the more we can reach out and have these conversations and just be open is like, Ugh, the best thing ever.

Ash McDonald (25:57):

It really is. Ugh. Thank you for being here. I would love for you to share where people can find, you learn more about you, your business, all the things you can do besides going and looking at my website, which she did, which is so many, where can people find you?

Rachelle Demoskoff (26:09):

Yeah. So 86 and trend.com. So it’s 86 T H a N D trend T R E d.com. Is our website. And then Instagram is at 86 and trend. That’s usually where we are most active. And like I said, at the start, we have two kind of from ways you can work with us. And yeah. So if you guys are interested in a website or anything like that, pop on over to one of those spots and I would be so happy to chat with you and see kind of what’s right for you. Yes.

Ash McDonald (26:39):

I love it. Okay. So final question. I ask every guest who comes onto the podcast, this question, Michelle, what does it mean to you to be shamelessly ambitious?

Rachelle Demoskoff (26:48):

That is such a good question. This, okay. So my answer for this has, is probably the result of the work I have done this last year. So my answer would’ve been different previous, but the work I’ve done this last year has really been learning a lot about myself. And like part of that is learning about like the, the Enneagram more and learning about human design, but also just like learning about like what I want, like what motivates me, what excites me, like, what do I want my life to look like? And I think being shamelessly ambitious is really like leaning into your desires and like learning about what motivates you and like, knowing that you can create any life you want. Like, however you want your life to look, you can create that. But leaning into like seeing what you like, what you truly want and letting go of those, like societal pressures or pressures from family or whatever it is, like tap into you, learn more about you, like tap into your intuition. Like what, what do you truly want? Has been something that I have not typically been motivated by. It’s always been those societal kind of influences and I’ve really started to focus on me more and like me and my family. Yeah. And it’s just, I feel like I it’s just been so invigorating and exciting to like AEST and create and like dream of what that life looks like and create it like, cuz it’s possible for you so possible.

Ash McDonald (28:32):

Ugh. I love that so much. Well, thank you so much for your time for your energy. I know that on a cellular level, you are so busy as you make a baby right now and you still made space for us. So I’m so grateful and just always so good

Rachelle Demoskoff (28:43):

To see you. Of course. I’m happy to be here. Thank you.