Hello, my friend

This conversation’s been highly requested, so we’re doing it now. On August 28th—my 38th birthday I logged off social media for a minimum of one year (and truthfully, I don’t know if I’ll “come back” in the traditional way). I’m recording this at the end of October, a little over two months later, and I can say…I don’t miss it.

This isn’t a takedown of the internet. It’s a love letter to my actual life.

The Myths That Kept Me There

For years I told myself I couldn’t leave social media because:

• “I built my business there.”
• “It’s how people find me.”
• “Visibility has to come with overstimulation.”

Those beliefs felt practical, but they weren’t aligned. Businesses have been built long before apps existed; visibility doesn’t have to cost your nervous system; and “reachable” isn’t the same as rooted.

The Mirror I Couldn’t Ignore

The truth is: my son was my turning point. Like many 11-year-olds, he was curious about social media. I knew, without a doubt, my answer was no. But I also knew I couldn’t ask him to honor a boundary I refused to model.

So I did what I always do when something matters: I researched. The more I learned about how platforms shape attention, impulse, and stress, the more I realized it wasn’t just “a kid problem.” It was a family nervous system problem. And my values left me with one clear choice.

If I wanted presence, peace, and energy to be values—not ideals—I had to live them.

What Two Months Offline Has Already Healed

1) My attention.
I didn’t realize how much micro-scrolling fractured my focus—even when I “wasn’t a big scroller.” Two months out, my brain feels quieter. Ideas land and stay.

2) My intuition.
I’m noticing the subtle cues again. Instead of reaching for my phone when I feel discomfort, I reach for breath, a walk, or a pen.

3) My comparison reflex.
Without the never-ending highlight reel, my desires are simpler and truer. I can hear what I want—without 10,000 strangers voting first.

4) My presence in moments that actually matter.
I used to mentally frame content while life happened. Now, I’m in the room. I still take photos, just fewer—and they’re for us, not an algorithm.

5) My belonging wound.
Likes and story replies once gave me a hit of “being seen,” while deepening the ache for real closeness. Logging off made space for the friendships that hold me in three dimensions, not 3 seconds.

“But How Are You Running a Business?”

Short answer: beautifully—and differently. I’ll break it down in next week’s episode, but here’s the gist:

• Podcast-first visibility (with intentional guesting & collaborations)
• Email love letters that people actually read
• High-touch conversations (coffee chats, voice notes, real referrals)
• In-person rooms that nourish (workshops, retreats, speaking)

No audience is worth the cost of your nervous system. There are other doors.

What I Kept (and What I Didn’t)

• I didn’t deactivate my accounts; I simply removed the apps from my phone.
• About once a week, I hop onto Facebook via desktop to check a private group for a program I’m in—no scrolling.
• Our podcast account exists, but my team runs it.
• When people ask to “follow” me, I offer my email, podcast, or phone number. Actual connection > passive consumption.

If You’re “Social-Curious,” Try This (Low-Drama) Experiment

Week 1: Delete app logins from your phone. Use desktop-only for necessary checks.
Week 2: Move platforms off your home screen entirely. Add a “Breathe” widget instead.
Week 3: Schedule two connection reps: one coffee chat + one podcast pitch.
Week 4: Write two “love-note” emails you’d genuinely want to open.

Notice your energy at the end of each day. Presence is a metric, too.

Why I Might Not Come Back

Because presence, energy, and peace are my actual measures of success now—and social media didn’t give me any of them. Yes, it gave me sales and some incredible relationships I’ll always treasure. And still, the cost exceeded the ROI for me. Your mileage may vary. My invitation is simply: ask the question—at what cost?

Where to Go From Here

If this hits somewhere deep, The Regulated Woman is where we practice living this way: slower nervous systems, steadier energy, and success that doesn’t steal your peace.
Choose the flavor that fits your season:

• Live Experience: monthly therapeutic recalibration calls with me + lifetime access to the private podcast & regulation vault.
• Self-Paced Experience: jump straight into the private podcast and expert-led regulation library today.

The invitation’s here.

What’s Next

• Next week’s episode: How I’m Staying Visible Without Social Media (I’m literally recording this in Mexico at an all-inclusive, capitalizing on one of my favorite non-social visibility strategies. Stay tuned. 😉)
• If you loved this: listen back to
  Ep 149: seven quiet red flags that almost cost me everything, and
  Ep 150: cortisol addiction explained (& how to break the cycle).

Until next time, take care of yourself, regulate often, and live shamelessly ambitious.

xx, Ash

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