Success has always been the destination that we imagine will bring an end to all our problems and usher in the “perfect” life. But what if that’s not the case at all? What if success is not about reaching a specific endpoint, but about the ever-evolving journey we’re on every day?
I am so, so excited to welcome our first guest in the Releasing the Wounds of Success series to talk about her own wounds of success, where the narrative of success was born for her, parts of her identity she has had to let go for better or worse, and so much more. Don’t forget to tune into the episode to hear the full story!
Erica Reitman is a super successful business coach and she is a full fucking vibe. She is a rule breaker for industry disruptors and she’s the owner and founder of The Icon Agency. This is a first-of-its-kind agency that combines one on one coaching, done for you services, mindset work, accountability, annnddd basically everything that’s needed to build a million dollar (and beyond) business. She is epic and so successful, but just because she’s living success doesn’t mean she doesn’t have wounds from her journey.
Follow Erica on all the things. ↓
The Illusion of Perfection and Success
Erica had this vision that when she started her business and reached a certain point of monetary success, her problems would all disappear. Honestly, that is a common misconception because we often assume that once we achieve a particular goal, everything will magically fall into place. Yet, Erica has come to learn that life doesn’t work that way. With every good thing, there are inevitable challenges. The idea that success would make everything “okay” is a fallacy I fell victim to for a long time. Once she was able to realize that success didn’t equate to a life of 100% bliss, she felt a massive relief. It liberated her from the undue pressure she had been placing on herself throughout her career in corporate America and during her time as a CEO.
Embracing Playfulness and Authenticity
Erica’s journey and realization also led to a shift in her mindset. She stopped calculating the monetary value of her business and began engaging in activities simply because they were fun. This simple shift was profound because it allowed Erica to be more playful and take risks without being preoccupied with the monetary outcome.
Where The Narrative Was Born
Erica shares that she grew up in a household where they lived beyond their means. She shares how they were always living in a house and driving a car that was a little too nice and had spending habits that didn’t match the reality of their situation. This all stems from her father’s experience as a child. He came from a very wealthy family and spent his entire life trying to attain that level of success for himself. For Erica’s dad, “success” was 100% tied up in the amount of money one made.
She was never taught of the wonderful results of having a successful life and business like time freedom, the ability to travel or being able to help family members financially.
“That just was not part of my formula.”
So, she grew up with a skewed idea of what it meant to be successful, because to her, success just meant making lots and lots and lots of money.
To this day, this wound is most prevalent for her. She admitted, “it’s still very front and center for me. I’m a bougie bitch. I like really nice things. I grew up getting used to this particular life, even though in reality, we probably should not have been living it.”
Although at 50 years old, she has redefined success for herself and understands that it’s way more than the amount of money you make — She still struggles to work through subconscious beliefs or understandings about her capabilities as a CEO.
Redefining Success and Permission to Change
Erica has come to understand that it’s essential to redefine her concept of success continually and adapt as she goes. Rather than chasing one specific thing, in Erica’s case it was more money, she now enjoys the journey as opposed to the destination. This conversation also highlights the importance of granting oneself permission to have bad days. Days where it’s ok to step away from the relentless pursuit of goals, and to accept the inevitable droughts in various aspects of life. Droughts, whether in money, creativity, or relationships, are an integral part of life && they allow us to enjoy the times where those aspects of life are flourishing. Acknowledging and accepting droughts, though, is a fundamental step toward holistic growth.
The Journey of Self-Discovery
It’s also extremely important to realize how deeply ingrained some beliefs and self-perceptions are and how they impact our daily lives.
“I deal with money mindset hang ups every week, at least…sometimes daily. These problems are not things that just go away. Some things I find are so deeply woven into our DNA that I don’t even notice when it’s happening.
‘It does not matter how successful you get or how much money you make, this is just always something that is going to challenge you and it’s okay.’ Once I realized that, it just took the pressure off and I could stop beating myself up whenever something else came up again or a thought popped into my head.”
Sometimes, we’re not even aware of these beliefs until we stop and sit with ourselves. Sometimes being with ourselves can bring up some discomfort, however, it allows space for the journey of self-discovery, personal growth, and development.
Full Permission to Feel
We were all born to be successful, daring, and shamelessly ambitious. && these qualities shouldn’t be compartmentalized. Give yourself permission. Permission to succeed, to fail, to change your mind, and to feel. Success is not a one-size-fits-all destination rather a personal journey that changes daily. Once we recognize that we have the power to redefine success according to our own values, desires, and circumstances… damn, we’re all going to be unstoppable.
🎫 BACKSTAGE PASS 🎫
This series is equipped with an additional email that goes along with each podcast episode that gets a little bit deeper with additional therapeutic action steps so you can release your wounds, too.
Where tailored business strategies get a therapeutic edge — pairing emotional wellness with a customized approach that meets you where you’re at and takes you where you’re going.